Chapter 11: A Poem Written in Secret Grief Is Lost and Reveals Hidden Feeling; A Marriage Proposal Is Sent and When Heard of, Strikes Like a Death Blow

Lyric to the tune "Yi Qin E":

Feeling is hard to speak of — guard against it slipping

past the throat and tongue that makes verse.

Throat and tongue: shadows glimpsed, voices overheard,

a quiet, careless leak.

Marriage, they say, is the twining of vine to tree —

who knew there would be another branch, another knot?

Another branch, another knot:

if not a joyful union,

then a parting unto death.

— to the tune "Yi Qin E" —

When Chang Zongzhen saw that Chang Canjun had praised his son's compositions with such admiration, he was overjoyed beyond measure. He went at once to find Wu Qu and said: "I have a matter to trouble you with." Wu Qu quickly asked: "What matter might that be? Please instruct me." Chang Yong said: "In my heart I have long wished to seek Miss Chang as a bride for my son. I have always feared that old Chang sets his sights too high, and worried further that my boy's writing was too coarse to move him. But now that I have seen how warmly old Chang praised the compositions in his annotations, his heart must already be somewhat stirred. While his heart is thus moved, this is the moment to send a good matchmaker to bring the two sides together — the marriage has a real chance of succeeding. And for a good matchmaker, there is no one but you, sir. That is why I come to you specially." Wu Qu bowed at once and said: "With Your Excellency's towering prestige as the foremost pillar of the realm, and your son's reputation for purity and refinement, if this humble student were to wag his three-inch tongue, success would be nine times in ten. Yet in my humble opinion, Your Excellency would do well to send a letter to your colleague as well, asking him to assist from within. With pressure applied from two directions, nothing could go wrong." Chang Yong said: "That is an excellent suggestion, sir. I will write the letter at once." He then took his leave and had the letter written — but we need not dwell on that.

Now, as for Miss Chang: ever since her father had called her in to read those compositions, she had been deeply troubled in her heart. She was seventeen years old now. She fell to thinking: "My Tang Sheng, at this very time, must be in his twentieth year — he has surely passed his entrance examinations long since. Green, green the scholar's collar; the osmanthus branch is easily broken. Yet given that he has such handsome looks, his parents would naturally have sought out a match and arranged his marriage to give him happiness in the present. How could they possibly keep him waiting for me — a drifting weed whose life or death remains uncertain — and let him keep a vow and go partnerless? That would be utterly impossible. And yet, when I think of Tang Sheng himself — young as he is, he is a man of the utmost sincerity, his words firm as gold and stone. Having pledged himself to me for life, how could he betray that? Even if his parents pressed him, I fear he would refuse to be faithless and act as a fickle lover."

Miss Chang went back and forth between consoling herself and sighing, until without her noticing, her brows had begun to furrow and her beauty quietly to fade. Chun Hui, seeing her young mistress so listless and without spirit, had guessed nearly the whole truth — yet she supposed it was only the longing of a young woman of marriageable age, grieving that the season was passing, and did not know there was another cause entirely. So she tried in every way to cheer and comfort her, hoping to coax back her mistress's joy. One day, when Miss Chang was feeling especially at a loss, she composed a small lyric to the tune "Tao Yuan Yi Gu Ren" to relieve her melancholy. When she had finished and read it over, she was quietly pleased with it. She thought to herself: "If the two of us truly meet again one day, it will not have been for nothing that I endured all this, surviving on borrowed time." She was just about to make a fair copy when Qiu Su came hurrying in to say: "The Mistress has suddenly taken ill — Miss, you must go quickly to see her." Startled, Miss Chang hastily tucked the lyric into her sleeve and went to her mother's room to attend to her. Madam Du lay there moaning; Miss Chang waited at her side for quite some time before she gradually came to herself and grew somewhat clearer in her mind.

Before long, Chang Quan also came hurrying in to inquire after her. Seeing that Madam Du had recovered, he went away relieved. Madam Du, seeing that her daughter had been busy at her side the whole day, said: "My pain has settled. Go back to your room and rest." Miss Chang had no choice but to return to her own room. After eating her evening meal, worn out from the day's labors, she was just preparing to wash up and go to sleep when she suddenly remembered the lyric she had written during the day. She reached into her sleeve — and it was gone. Her heart lurched. "That lyric reveals my innermost feelings," she thought. "If someone picks it up and it reaches Father's eyes, he will think me a girl who has strayed into improper sentiments. Whatever shall I do!" She hurried to call Chun Hui and Qiu Su: "I had a poem-lyric in my sleeve today, and now it is gone. It must have fallen in the Mistress's room. You two must go quickly and find it for me — it is urgent."

The two of them turned and went at once, but when they reached the inner gate, they found it was already locked for the night. With no other option, they had to return and report back to Miss Chang. When she heard this, she was beside herself with anxiety. "Wait, I shall go myself and have it opened," she said, and set off with Chun Hui and Qiu Su. But then she stopped: "Father and Mother are already asleep. To go disturbing them in the night without good reason — that is not proper for a daughter." So she turned back, had the two maids light lamps, and searched every corner of her room, seeking until deep into the night without finding so much as a scrap of paper. With nothing more to be done, Miss Chang had no choice but to take to her bed. She did not sleep a wink that night.

The heart's own secret weighs the heart near to breaking;

without intending to, it showed itself in verse.

The verse is lost and now for others' eyes —

though she had no private intent, it seems she did.

The next morning, Chang Quan rose early and noticed one of the maidservants sweeping the floor pick up a slip of paper with writing on it. He saw it and asked to look. It was a lyric in his daughter's hand. This is what it read:

Morning after morning, evening after evening, each day ground through,

and not one word of news.

In a daze I sit, in a daze I lie,

and in a daze my tears fall.

The curtains are all rolled up, the nest is broken apart,

yet the swallows and sparrows still come to offer congratulations.

These new words I write as if they were old words —

I think no one will answer them.

— to the tune "Tao Yuan Yi Gu Ren" —

Chang Quan read it through, and was privately startled: "How did this girl come to write such a lyric full of longing?" But then he thought: "The common saying goes, 'A grown daughter cannot be kept at home.' If I were to confront her with this lyric and question her, the matter would branch and spread, and once it became known, it would only create discord between flesh and blood — and ruin her name besides." He thought further: "She is already of age, and she is gifted and perceptive. To express feeling through allusion is only natural. This need not mean she has some other intention. But if she does not find this lyric, she will certainly be frantic, afraid I have seen it. If I were to keep it, the awkwardness would hang between us whenever we met and leave her ill at ease. Better by far to act as if I know nothing, and put the lyric back where it was. Let her come and retrieve it herself — then there will be no suspicion. And since she is a clever girl, one such fright will surely make her think again; there is no need to drag it all into the open." So he placed the lyric back where it had been found.

Not long after, Miss Chang sent Chun Hui ahead to pay her morning respects, while she herself kept careful watch out of the corner of her eye. Suddenly she spotted a crumpled slip of paper near the threshold. She moved casually, and the moment the Mistress's gaze was elsewhere, she slipped over and snatched it up, tucked it in her sleeve, and flew back to see Miss Chang. The young mistress was in the midst of dressing when Chun Hui appeared before her, smiling broadly: "Miss, your worries are all over!" She drew the lyric from her sleeve. Miss Chang took it and looked — she was overjoyed: "You are quick-witted as ever, and you handled it perfectly." She then asked how the Mistress was getting on. Chun Hui replied: "The Mistress is well again."

In a little while, Miss Chang had finished washing and dressing, and in a cheerful mood she went with Chun Hui to pay her respects to her mother, spending the whole day in her mother's room before returning to her own quarters that evening.

The lost sheep, they say, needs only a good search —

find the lost sheep, and the heart is at ease.

Daughters and sons may flatter themselves on their clever concealment,

but who knows how deep a parent's true grace runs.

Now, Wu Qu, having accepted the commission from Chang Yong, took up his letters, brought his servants, and rode proudly on horseback to call on Zhou Chongwen. Arriving outside the gate, he first had a man present the visiting card of Commander Chang, then his own card of formal greeting, and sent them in. In short order a man came out from the gate: "Which gentleman is Master Wu? The Colonel-in-Chief invites you to meet him in the inner office." Wu Qu quickly dismounted; his servant drew from the luggage pack a full set of scholar's clothing — a scholar's cap, a scholar's robe, and boots with white soles and black uppers — and helped Wu Qu dress himself neatly from head to foot. He then followed the gatekeeper into the yamen.

Zhou Chongwen had already been apprised of the letter's contents, and came hurrying out to meet him: "Sir, you have graced us with your presence, and I failed to come out to welcome you — I have given offense." Wu Qu immediately had his attendants lay down a red felt mat so he could bow in formal greeting. Zhou Chongwen quickly caught his arm: "Sir, you hold the honor of a teacher in relation to my colleague, which is equivalent to how I regard him. How could there be any need to bow? Moreover, your reputation is well established, and you hold rank in the Imperial Academy. Let us observe the courtesy of host and guest — there is no call for excess." Wu Qu replied: "Your Excellency's name resounds throughout the realm; I am merely a young student. The difference in our stations is vast. To come calling without performing a bow of greeting would be to show no sincerity in my reverence."

The two exchanged many courteous demurrals; first the rites of teacher and student were observed, then those of host and guest. Once seated and tea had been drunk, Wu Qu bowed once more and said: "This humble student has come at my master's command to present himself before Your Excellency. The matter concerns my master's son, a fine young man just entering manhood, whom Your Excellency has already had occasion to observe. My master has learned that Commander Chang has a daughter — a gracious young lady of marriageable age, long celebrated for her talent, who has yet to be betrothed. My master admires her exceedingly and wishes to ask for her hand for his son as a match worthy of the finest poetry. He fears that this humble student, being plain of bearing and unimpressive of speech, would not carry sufficient weight with Commander Chang. He therefore writes to Your Excellency, begging Your Excellency's great influence to speak persuasively to the Commander, so that the two families may be joined in the happiness of a Qin-Jin union. In this way, talent will not go unmatched, two fine people will be paired together — and not only will my master feel eternally grateful to Your Excellency, but this humble student, able to bask in the glory of having assisted in the matter, will also share in the honor."

Zhou Chongwen said: "My colleague Chang's son — the moment I laid eyes on him I knew him for a distinguished and graceful young gentleman. Commander Chang's daughter has long been celebrated for her gentle beauty and literary gifts — she is truly a rare talent of this generation. If they were to be joined in marriage, a talented young man and a gifted young woman — it would indeed be an event of which people would speak for a thousand years. I ask you to return and convey to my colleague Chang that this commander is willing to take up the matchmaker's axe, and consents to this Qin-Jin union. Once the red thread is tied, I shall send word at once." Wu Qu replied: "Thanks to Your Excellency's generous assent, when I report back to my master he will be moved by this beyond words. I shall purify myself and await the happy news." He then took his leave and went to report to Commander Chang — but we need not follow that.

Zhou Chongwen then summoned Chang Quan and told him the matter in full detail, urging him as well: "To match a daughter of such talent with a young man of such talent — two gifts united in beauty — how is that different from the renowned pair of Liang Hong and Meng Guang? As for the young man's striking appearance, you have already seen it; and as for his real ability, you observed it only yesterday. In my view, this is a fine match as beautiful as brocade — it must not be let slip."

Chang Quan heard him out, but could not make up his mind on the spot. He could only say: "My daughter is of humble quality — I fear she may not measure up." Zhou Chongwen replied: "My colleague Chang is already aware of your daughter's talent and virtue — that is precisely why he pursues this match. Why be so modest? You may go home and discuss it with your wife and daughter." Chang Quan withdrew and returned home. He found Madam Du and laid out the whole matter for her — how Commander Chang had written to Zhou Chongwen, sent a matchmaker, and proceeded in such and such a manner. He added his own view: "From what I can see, the young Chang is a man of fine bearing, and his literary talent is genuinely impressive. Besides, the child is growing older; if we delay too long, she will be past her best years. And in this place, if we are looking for a man of talent, I fear there is none other to be found." Madam Du said: "What you say is not wrong — but when I think it over, there is still something that does not sit right with me."

Chang Quan quickly asked: "How so?" Madam Du replied: "We raise children to look after us in old age. Neither you nor I can count on staying in this place forever. If we arrange the marriage now for convenience's sake, how can we be sure he will not be promoted elsewhere someday, or that we will not return home ourselves? If they are separated by distance, what is to be done?" Chang Quan said: "I understand that he is from the northern metropolitan region, an official serving here — sooner or later he will go back there. As for me, I am not what I once was; I too must find an opportunity to return home. If we all returned to the capital, meeting again would not be so difficult. What I am more concerned about is that Chang Yong is a man of powerful connections — in the end, I fear there may be trouble."

While the two were talking, Qiu Su had been listening closely, word by word. When she heard the master say that Miss Chang was to be betrothed to the son of Commander Chang, she was overjoyed. Without waiting for the two of them to finish, she turned and ran to find Miss Chang. She could not stop laughing, could not hold it in, and finally laughed out the words: "Miss, congratulations to you!" Miss Chang was startled to hear the word congratulations and said sharply: "You wretched girl — how dare you be so rude! I live shut away in these inner rooms; misfortune comes easily, happiness not at all. How dare you come before me with such wild talk? It is truly outrageous." Qiu Su laughed again: "But Miss, congratulations truly are in order! Just now I was in the other room and heard the master telling the mistress about your marriage — the master has already promised you to Young Master Chang. Is that not the greatest joy under heaven for you, Miss?"

When Miss Chang heard this, she was so frightened her soul nearly left her body. Without even caring that the maidservants could see, she burst into tears that fell like rain, crying: "What evil fate is this, that has brought a face like mine to such a pass? Clinging to life here in misery — I have long felt half-dead already. And now this — now they would take my very spirit!" She could neither sit still nor stand, and could only weep. Chun Hui and Qiu Su, seeing their mistress in such a state, could not make head or tail of it. Chun Hui tried again and again to comfort her, but Miss Chang said nothing at all. Only through her tears did she finally speak: "Fate so thin as this cannot be forced. You two must take it to heart — do not let Father and Mother know of this." Then Miss Chang took to her bed. Chun Hui and Qiu Su were both frightened out of their wits. Chun Hui blamed Qiu Su; Qiu Su blamed Chun Hui. Neither knew why their mistress grieved so deeply. They dared not inform the master and mistress, and could only remain in the room attending to her, not leaving her side for a moment. Miss Chang lay there in a dull stupor, half sleeping and half sitting up.

Graceful brows and silken hair in the fullness of spring —

one moment's divergence brings her to death's threshold.

It is not that a daughter's heart is made of poor material —

in this, she has truly recognized where honor and duty lie.

As for Chang Quan: though he was of two minds, faced with Zhou Chongwen's role as matchmaker he found no way to refuse and gave his full consent. Zhou Chongwen was greatly pleased and wrote his reply at once, saying that Commander Chang, humbling himself as unworthy of so high a connection, had at first been hesitant, but that after considerable persuasion on the part of the undersigned, acting as matchmaker, he had agreed to the request. When Chang Yong received the letter he was overjoyed, and immediately said to the messenger: "Go back and convey my deep respects to both gentlemen. Tell them that tomorrow I will first send someone to select an auspicious date; my side will then be ready to send the betrothal gifts." The messenger went off to deliver the reply to Zhou Chongwen and Chang Quan — but we need not follow that.

As for young Master Chang: when he heard his father had negotiated this engagement on his behalf, and that the Chang family had agreed, and moreover that Miss Chang could compose poetry and prose, he was overjoyed: "My own talent and learning are only middling — but if I take her as my wife, from now on she can compose all my poems and essays for me. And when the examiner tests us tomorrow, she will no doubt write those for me as well. With a wife of such inner talent, will I not look to all the world like a genuine man of letters?" Then another thought struck him: "They say talent and beauty cannot both be had in one person. The famous Su Xiaomei herself was only of ordinary looks. I am pleased only with her talent — if her looks fall somewhat short, that is no matter." In his pleased imaginings, and since his tutor had been the matchmaker, he went every day to press Wu Qu to urge his father to select a date and send the gifts. Chang Yong accordingly chose a date, intending to have Wu Qu deliver the gifts in person, so as to show proper solemnity. But as the date was still some time away, it was not yet the moment to go, and the matter rested there for now.

Now, Miss Chang: from the day Qiu Su came to her with her news, she went three or four days without touching food or water. In her heart she was resolved to show her will through death. Chun Hui urged her again and again to eat, but Miss Chang said: "My mind is made up — do not press me." And she wept silently as she spoke. Chun Hui, seeing her mistress in this state, could not bear it in her heart, and herself began to cry: "Miss, your lovely years lie all before you — why do you inflict such suffering upon yourself? I have served you for so many years now; you have never treated me merely as a maidservant but as one of your own, and we have held nothing back from each other. Now that you have fallen ill like this, if there is something weighing on your heart, there is no need to hold back — tell me a little of it. Perhaps I can be of help, or at least take on some part of your grief." Miss Chang gave a long sigh: "A delicate flower once fallen cannot be put back on the branch. Things have already come to this — what good would it do to speak of it? If you feel any love for the years we have spent together, I ask nothing of you now but this: find out news of the Chang family for me. If a date has been set, come quickly and tell me. That alone would show your true feeling." When she finished speaking her breath was faint and fading.

Seeing her mistress so gravely ill, Chun Hui had no choice but to go and report to the master and mistress: "Miss has suddenly fallen very ill — it is most serious." The two were greatly alarmed: "If the Miss is ill, why did you not come and tell us sooner, you wretched girl? Waiting until she was this sick before coming to report!" Chun Hui replied: "The Miss repeatedly instructed me not to disturb the master and mistress. So this servant dared not say anything. I myself thought it would pass — I never expected her illness to reach this point." Chang Quan and Madam Du came together to see Miss Chang. She was thin and pale, barely breathing. Madam Du, seeing her daughter so suddenly changed, could not hold back her tears: "Our child is so gravely ill, and we, her own parents, knew nothing of it!" Miss Chang said nothing at all, only moved her hand slightly and let her tears fall. Chang Quan hurriedly summoned a physician and had medicines prescribed. He pressed Chun Hui and Qiu Su about the cause of the illness, but both said they had no idea. Chang Quan and Madam Du were frightened day and night, weeping secretly.

They knew only that their daughter was in the flower of her years —

they did not dream her heart was fixed elsewhere.

If asked what lay in that dim, quiet place within her,

even the love of father and mother could not reach it.

Madam Du kept watch in her daughter's room day and night, questioning her again and again. Miss Chang could only sigh, long and short, without a word of answer. Madam Du said: "We two have drifted to this foreign land, and truly all our hope rested on you growing up, to bring some joy to our later years. If anything were to happen to you, we two would be left cold and alone — alive, yet as good as dead." She dissolved in grief when she said this. Still Miss Chang would not speak. Seeing how things stood, Chang Quan recalled the lyric he had read, and quietly said to Madam Du: "The way things look — could it be the child has something on her mind that she cannot bring herself to say, and this is the result?" Madam Du, hearing this, could only suppose that her daughter was longing for the Feng family who had raised her, and could not think of any other explanation. She questioned her daughter again and again, comforted her again and again, but Miss Chang only shook her head. Chang Quan and Madam Du, helpless, could only watch over her morning and night without leaving her side.

As for Commander Chang: when the auspicious day arrived, as is the easy way of powerful families, he had already prepared a great quantity of gifts, and sent a hundred-odd soldiers, all decked in red, to carry and bear them over. Wu Qu also dressed himself in festive clothes, mounted a tall horse, and set off with great fanfare and high spirits toward the yamen of Commander Zhou to deliver the betrothal gifts. Zhou Chongwen, when he saw the procession, immediately sent someone to invite Chang Quan to come and receive the gifts on behalf of the Chang family.

By this time, Chang Quan, with his daughter in such a state, was so distracted in mind and spirit that he had entirely forgotten what day it was. Now, when Zhou Chongwen unexpectedly sent for him to receive the betrothal gifts, he was at a loss. He could only go and consult with Madam Du: "The Chang family has now sent the betrothal gifts. If I accept them openly, yet our daughter is gravely ill right now — what if something were to happen to her? How could I answer to that family? But if I refuse them and tell them to wait until our daughter recovers, they are powerful people, and it was our own superior officer who arranged the match — how can I go back on my word? It is a dilemma with no good way out." Madam Du had no idea what to do either, and could hardly go and ask her daughter. At last she said: "They have come in such high spirits to deliver them, and a marriage is a joyous affair — how can we turn them away? Perhaps this joyous event will bring a turn of fortune, and the girl's illness will improve — who can say?"

Chang Quan, with no good alternative, and seeing that Zhou Chongwen had sent someone to press him, had no choice but to come out and exchange pleasantries with Wu Qu. Zhou Chongwen then had Chang Quan check and receive the betrothal gifts one by one from the list, and had them sent inside. Guests were then entertained with a meal. After a short while, Chang Quan and Zhou Chongwen invited Wu Qu to sit down to the table. They were in the midst of drinking when a man came rushing in from the inner quarters and whispered something urgently into Chang Quan's ear. Chang Quan's face went suddenly white with shock. "I am afraid I cannot continue to keep you company," he said, and turned and hurried inside. Zhou Chongwen and Wu Qu had no idea what had happened and immediately sent someone to find out. In a short time the man came running back, flustered and alarmed, with his report. Because of what he said:

A future as bright as brocade

had already turned to petals scattered on the wind.

What had befallen Chang Quan? Listen to the next chapter for the full account.