(2) An Unspoken Affection Takes Root

Over these past three years, whenever the caravans weren't traveling, Guo Huilian would join Yue Heng in the Snow-Watching Pavilion to drink tea. At first it had only been medicinal tea; gradually, whenever Tian Xu had free time, he began joining them too, and since he didn't drink, he would summon a young servant boy to grind and brew tea beside them instead. Later Guo Huilian took up drinking tea along with them as well, until eventually Yue Heng gave up wine altogether, sitting with Tian Xu and Guo Huilian over tea and casual conversation instead.

Naturally, whether or not Tian Xu happened to be present, it was always Guo Huilian who did most of the talking. Every so often she would even recount her favorite tales of the strange and supernatural from the Six Dynasties period to Yue Heng, and, surprisingly enough, Yue Heng always listened with real patience, never once giving her a cold shoulder—and would even laugh along, watching Guo Huilian tell her stories with such animated delight, leaving Cangwei, forced to sit through it all from his post the entire time, genuinely questioning his understanding of reality. One day, on a whim, seeing the tea ready and everyone gathered, Tian Xu suggested that Yue Heng formally adopt Guo Huilian as his daughter—all Guo Huilian needed to do was kneel and bow her head three times, then offer him a cup of tea, and the ceremony would be complete. That way, the two of them, both having lost their own parents, could continue to share in a father's care and affection together, and Guo Huilian, too, could rightfully and formally become part of the family with Tian Xu at last.

Now, Guo Huilian loved telling those strange and eerie tales, but every single time, once she'd finished telling one, she never dared walk the dark road back to Caixia Court alone—and so Yue Heng had no choice but to "risk life and limb for his beloved daughter," simply walking her back to Caixia Court every single day without fail. To see her safely home, Yue Heng had even gone so far as to prepare a lantern specially, to light her way through the pitch-black night. Yue Heng, who had once rarely so much as set foot in Caixia Court, had overnight become its most frequent visitor, filling the whole of Caixia Court with a kind of shining honor—everyone there now had to greet Yue Heng with the utmost deference, day after day.

What proved hardest to fathom, though, was that Tian Xu's own habit of joining them carried a certain mysterious quality all its own. He would invariably send Yueying away first, telling him there was no need to come along. Yueying, who had never once left Tian Xu's side for as long as anyone could remember, was, on these occasions, sent ahead to Caixia Court to wait while Tian Xu drank tea in the Snow-Watching Pavilion instead. Having accompanied Tian Xu for so many years, Yueying could usually read Tian Xu's thoughts from a single glance or gesture alone—but this time, he found himself entirely unable to guess what was going through Tian Xu's mind. Even so, all he could do was follow the order and head to Caixia Court to find Yueming and Han Jin, lending a hand where needed or simply passing the time drinking tea and chatting when there was nothing to do, until Yue Heng and Tian Xu came to walk Guo Huilian home, at which point Yueying would rejoin Tian Xu, and the two of them would together escort Yue Heng back to Songlan Court, before finally making their own way back together to Lingshuang Court, farthest to the east.

Only a few days after Tian Xu had returned to Yueyue Manor, a letter arrived from Han Jian in Chang'an, reporting that Guo Huilian's cousin had just been promoted to Magistrate of Wannian. He had spent years serving as a prefectural aide in various parts of Lingnan, far from Chang'an, and by the time he'd learned of the catastrophe that had befallen the Guo household, Guo Huilian had already gone to live at Yueyue Manor. Her uncle had discovered, from the gravestone itself, that Guo Huilian might well be the sole survivor of the Guo family. Since he had never known Zhou Mengda or Han Jian personally, he'd had no luck at all tracking down Guo Huilian's whereabouts despite asking all around Chang'an. As for Guo Huilian herself, she vaguely knew that her uncle's family had followed his son to an official post in Lingnan, but she'd been so young at the time that she genuinely couldn't say exactly where her uncle had actually been. Based on the various reports reaching him, Tian Xu understood that Guo Huilian's uncle had genuinely wanted to find her, but with the world so vast, he had no idea where even to begin searching.

On the other hand, Tian Xu had also felt that with Guo Huilian's uncle and his family constantly on the move, following his son from posting to posting, their life could hardly be described as stable, and his salary was hardly generous either; given the great distance besides, it seemed far better for Guo Huilian to stay on at Yueyue Manor, where her life could remain settled and secure. And so he had sent someone to track down Guo Huilian's uncle and delivered him a letter written in Guo Huilian's own hand, telling him that she was living well at Yueyue Manor, cared for and looked after by an adoptive father and a whole family, and that he need not worry over her. Now, with Guo Huilian's cousin newly promoted to Magistrate of Wannian and the whole family relocating to Chang'an, once everything was settled, he wished to bring Guo Huilian back to Chang'an at last—after all, having no blood tie at all to Yueyue Manor and having imposed on their hospitality for so long genuinely weighed on her uncle's conscience. Guo Huilian was his own sister's orphaned child, and whatever it took, he felt he owed it to her to fulfill his duty as her uncle and look after her properly. What was more, Guo Huilian had already come of age, and he still remembered that her parents had once arranged a childhood betrothal for her; now that her own parents were gone, matters of her marriage rightfully fell to him as her closest surviving elder relative to oversee, and since he was now in Chang'an himself, it seemed only proper to bring his niece home at last, after three years of being "stranded" elsewhere.

Reading the letter left Tian Xu feeling strangely gloomy, though he couldn't quite put his finger on why. It was, on its face, a good thing that her own uncle wished to bring his niece home to care for her—and yet he simply couldn't bring himself to feel happy about it. For two days straight, over tea in the Snow-Watching Pavilion, he spoke hardly a word, his brow furrowed the whole while, until even Yue Heng and Guo Huilian noticed something was clearly wrong. It wasn't until the third day, pressed hard by Yue Heng, that Tian Xu finally laid the whole matter out plainly.

Yue Heng's face darkened with displeasure at the news. Guo Huilian was, by now, the treasure of his heart—how could he possibly bear to let her go back to Chang'an? Even Cangwei, hearing this, thought privately that it simply wouldn't do. Over these past three years, Guo Huilian had thoroughly woven herself into life at Yueyue Manor; she was already very much a part of the family, and now, for her uncle to suddenly want to take her back to Chang'an was genuinely hard to accept. And yet he was, after all, a blood relative come to claim his own niece—an entirely justified and proper thing to do, one that left little real ground to refuse.

When Guo Huilian learned of this, her first reaction was joy at her cousin's promotion to Magistrate of Wannian—but the thought that soon followed, that she would have to leave Yueyue Manor, sent her own heart sinking without her quite realizing it. And so the whole of Yueyue Manor fell under a strange, uneasy cloud, with the question of whether Guo Huilian would stay or go becoming an agonizing struggle no one could resolve.

Their teatime for three fell into an extended silence, each of the three lost in their own private thoughts. Yue Heng told the servants to bring wine, and for several days running he took to drinking away his sorrows in silence once more. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, he asked Guo Huilian and Tian Xu outright what they actually thought about it. Both of them staying stubbornly silent was truly enough to drive a person to distraction.

Tian Xu wore a rare, stony expression, his face nearly ashen. He said the decision wasn't his to make. In his heart, he knew perfectly well that it was thanks to Guo Huilian that his adoptive father had slowly begun to emerge from the grief of losing his mother. With Guo Huilian around, his father was happy, and the whole manor, top to bottom, was filled with a genuine sense of life and vitality—as a son, even he himself found real comfort in that. How could he possibly wish for her to leave Yueyue Manor and return to Chang'an? And yet, when all was said and done, Guo Huilian and her uncle shared blood ties thicker than water, and her own family's graves lay in Chang'an—it was only natural, if she wished to return there. What right did he have to stand in her way? Besides, three years ago he had promised to help her find her remaining family, and now that her family had not only been found but was capable of bringing her back to Chang'an, he had even less grounds to go back on his word now.

Guo Huilian, ordinarily so talkative, had turned into a little mute. In truth, she found herself genuinely torn as well. Life at Yueyue Manor had been thoroughly good to her; everyone here loved and doted on her, and she wanted nothing more than to stay at Yueyue Manor for the rest of her life—her uncle, cousin, and cousin's wife, even if she went to live with them, might not treat her nearly as well as everyone at Yueyue Manor had. Though she and her uncle's family shared blood ties, they had never been especially close, and she barely knew them at all—whether things would turn out well or poorly with them remained entirely uncertain, something she would have to get used to all over again.

But could she really stay at Yueyue Manor forever?

Though her adoptive father and Tenth Brother treated her exceptionally well, their relationship warm and close—one might even say seamlessly, perfectly harmonious—that was only true, she knew, as long as the position of the Manor Lord's wife remained vacant. Tian Xu was eighteen now, well past the age when a man ought to be considering marriage; and if the day ever came when the manor welcomed a proper mistress of its own, would everything really stay exactly as pleasant as it was today? At fifteen, Guo Huilian had already developed a great many quietly sharp instincts of her own. She had never truly been part of Yueyue Manor to begin with; it was only by having Yue Heng adopt her as his daughter, and thereby nominally becoming Tian Xu's sworn sister, that she had come to belong to the manor at all. That particular status caused no real trouble as long as the manor had no mistress of its own, but she couldn't help worrying about what might happen once it did—there was simply no telling how a future Manor Lord's wife might come to see her. She had no idea why her thoughts kept drifting toward this in particular, but her whole heart felt weighed down by it, an unshakeable discomfort. If Tian Xu had simply spoken up and insisted, with real conviction, on keeping her here, perhaps she might have been spared this agonizing dilemma altogether—but Tian Xu had said the decision wasn't his to make, and that troubled her deeply.

That night, after Tian Xu and Yue Heng had walked Guo Huilian back to Caixia Court, father and son strolled slowly back together beneath the moonlight, Yue Heng's face set in a scowl, his tone carrying real displeasure.

"That year, without a word of hesitation, you brought her back to the manor with such open generosity. What's happened now? Is it really so hard to just speak up and keep her here?"

"But we share no blood ties between us. If I insisted on keeping her here regardless, I'd have no real ground to stand on." Tian Xu let out a soft sigh, sounding distant and troubled.

"And where were they, at the time it all happened? If it hadn't been for Yueyue Manor, Yaya likely would have died long ago—and there'd be no 'today' to speak of at all!"

Tian Xu could tell his adoptive father's heart was full of anger, but there was nothing he could do about it—matters had taken an unexpected turn, catching him entirely off guard.

"What do blood ties matter or not matter? Yaya and I are father and daughter, plain and simple. That man is nothing more than an uncle to his niece—whose bond runs deeper? What right does he have to override me?" Yue Heng had always been domineering by nature, and it showed now more than ever, wearing the unmistakable air of a man ready to make an enemy of anyone who dared try to take his daughter away from him.

"And if that's still not enough, why don't you simply marry the girl into the family outright? Not even the Emperor himself could tear apart a married couple—every problem would resolve itself, just like that."

Hearing Yue Heng say this, Tian Xu was so startled he choked on his own saliva, coughing violently on the spot, while Yueying, alarmed, hurried to pound firmly on his back to help him catch his breath.

In truth, it wasn't only Tian Xu who was caught off guard—Yueying was hardly any better off. It was only that, since this wasn't his own affair, his shock didn't run quite as deep as Tian Xu's. And yet he had to admit that, domineering as his master could be, what he'd just said actually made real sense.

Once Tian Xu had finally caught his breath, Yue Heng shot him a cold glance—marrying Yaya into the family had actually frightened him that badly? On any ordinary day, watching the two of them together, so innocently close, getting along wonderfully well, and how, over tea in the Snow-Watching Pavilion, Tian Xu would set aside his own favorite rare and pricey treats—preserved fruit, grapes, and the like—for Guo Huilian to enjoy more of, even peeling the grapes for her himself before handing them over. He'd never held back from eating whatever little dishes Guo Huilian made either, always his most enthusiastic supporter. The two of them, always laughing and chatting together, and the way Tian Xu's eyes filled with pure delight whenever he looked at her—who could possibly be fooled by that? He'd even gone out of his way to send Yueying off elsewhere, too. To claim this boy had no real feelings for her—Yue Heng simply wouldn't believe it for a second. So why, then, when told to marry her openly and properly into the family, did he react so violently?

"What's wrong with marrying Yaya? What exactly is it about her that doesn't satisfy you? Both a daughter and a daughter-in-law at once—I couldn't be more pleased with that arrangement!" Yue Heng snapped at Tian Xu, thoroughly annoyed.

The night wind stirred gently, the sound of pines rolling in waves, bright moonlight bathing all three of them where they stood. Tian Xu fell silent for a long while before finally letting out a long sigh. "Families like ours have carried this misfortune down through several generations now. Two generations back, only Uncle Da remains, and, if I stretch it, you, Father, and Uncle Xiaoba as well; and in my own generation, there's only ever been me, Xu'er, alone. What will tomorrow hold for Xu'er? I have little enough confidence in my own future as it is—why would I want to drag anyone else down into it with me?" 2

Tian Xu gazed off into the distance, his eyes clouded with something dark. His mother had spent over a decade trying to buy her son a life of peace and security, only to die before her ambitions could ever be fulfilled—this suffering, would it ever truly come to an end?

Hearing Tian Xu's words, Yue Heng fell silent too. He understood Tian Xu's difficulty and his pain all too well—Tian Xu wasn't only weighing what stood before him now, but far more, what still lay ahead in the future. She was, after all, an outsider to all of this—why force her into it needlessly? He didn't know whether Cheng Siyuan had ever regretted drawing Chu Mingxi, once an outsider herself, into all of this—after all, he'd never had the chance to ask—but there was no such thing as a cure for regret in this world; even regretting it afterward would change nothing. Watching the misfortune that had befallen the two generations before him, Tian Xu found, without quite realizing it, a growing weight of worry settling in his own heart. Rather than court regret in the future, better to guard against it now, while there was still time.

Nor was Yue Heng the only one who lay awake that night, unable to sleep—so too did Tian Xu, and so too did Guo Huilian...